So my alarm is set to go off in 5 hours for my 10K in the morning, but I can't sleep. I went to bed over two hours ago and just tossed and turned. I'm not nervous about the race. In fact, I'm not worried at all about the race. When did I become so laid back about races?
This is the first time I'm so relaxed about it and not stressing over each detail. Nothing is laid out, clothes not even picked out, not sure if my favorite shorts are clean in my drawer or the laundry. This thought actually crossed my mind earlier today and I still haven't investigated it further. Let me state for the record that this is not me at all. I'm a planner. I set things out for everything the night before, not just races. I pick out my outfit every night. For work on a normal day. For my husband when he gets home from work. I'm a planner and have no desire to today.
I'm looking forward to this race tomorrow. It's the Solstice Run in Northville and the first race my running group is doing together. I should be freaking out cause the team singlet I picked up on Tuesday doesn't fit properly - or even appropriately to wear in public. Coach wants us all to wear it tomorrow, but I'm not even worried about it. Have I learned to loosen up? Am I so over stressed that I can't handle things anymore? Have I given up? I think the answer to all those questions is no.
I've been off work all week, which has been fun, although a bit boring. I don't relax well. I like schedules and being busy. I'm a bit stir-crazy from not having anything planned all week. On the flip side, I shopped for a new car all week - NOT FUN - and found the car of my dreams on Thursday - a lot more fun - bought it and drove it off the lot that day.
I should be thrilled, excited, elated, ready to go. But I just feel blah. Don't know what the deal is. Perhaps the fact that everyone I know is busy tonight (and my husband is at work, like usual), so day 2 of my first-brand-new-car-of-my-entire-life is spent at home by myself not showing it off to anyone. Maybe that's the deal.
Maybe the fact that my running week started off so great - great group long run on Saturday, fun 3 mile easy run with my dogs on Sunday, extra bonus run for fun of 4 miles on Monday, awesome hill workout with the class on Tuesday. Then it ended. Took scheduled rest day on Wednesday and had to cancel my run with my running buddy on Thursday as we were at the dealership signing our life away for hours on end. Today I felt I shouldn't make up Thursday's run to stay rested for tomorrow's race. So, now I'm just antsy.
Maybe just venting this out will help me sleep. It's amazing how much this blog has changed over time for me. What started as a place to keep a record for myself on my 'trial run' with running was then shared with 2 friends six months later and then a handful of family members a couple months later and then finally to the world is now more like a personal journal to me. And it feels great to have this place to vent.
The good news is that in addition to the running group (wannabe) friends I have running tomorrow's race, Detroit Runner and Watch MeGo Run (who's like famous now, on the nuun team) will be there. Maybe I'll run into them and swoon as they're like celebrities to me :) I think I recall Eastside Stoney Creak TNT Coach mentioning he'll be at the race tomorrow, too.
Here's hoping I can fall asleep soon and come back with a great race report tomorrow! Or at least snap out of this funk.