Let's Move Half Marathon Race Review

So, I'm still not sure how I feel about Saturday's race but here's my best attempt at breaking it down.  

Pros

• The weather was beautiful - sunny, not too hot, capris and tank top weather - perfect!
• The race was .4 miles from my parent's house - no wasted time parking in the morning :)
• It was in my home town and I talked my parents, mother-in-law, sister and niece into participating in the smaller races.
• It was a flat race.
• My favorite restaurant was at the finish line - yum chili cheese fries :)

Cons

• The water stations were out of cups until mile 6 or so.  Soooo Thirsty.
• There was minimal crowd support.  minimal.  like no one along the course unless you count the people standing at the water stations without cups.
• There was no water near the GU stop.  Yuck. 
• Of the few spectators there were (read: sheriff dept at cross streets), they were silent and didn't cheer you on or even acknowledge that you were there.
• The finish line was so empty - granted, I finished after 2:30, but still - maybe 50 ppl cheering you in.
• The volunteers at the finish line were just standing there talking with each other.  I had to ask for a medal even though there were 5 of them standing there with them in their hands.  I had to grab a space blanket from the pile that was all folded up and hard to get while all the volunteers stood there and completely ignored me.  There was bottled water, but no food.  I was pissed.  
• Race photos blew.  They only had a photographer at the end.  The website is a wedding photographer.  Get your shit together and hire a race photographer.  ok now I'm being a brat.

My time

I'm thoroughly disappointed in my finishing time: 2:34:32.  I was really looking forward to beating my last time of 2:33:53 from the Grosse Ile Half on March 20th.  The conditions were perfect - weather, locale, flat, family there to cheer me in.  I really wanted sub 2:30.

I think I put too much pressure on this race and assumed it would go so great without being mentally prepared.  The first 6 miles felt great - I was floating on air and didn't seem like I was pushing it too hard or went out too fast.  I was in front of the 2:30 pacer and felt wonderful.  However, after the lack of agua and the incredibly thinning group of racers, I was fading fast after that.  The 2:30 pacer creeped up behind me around mile 7, ran with me for awhile and then took off after the mile 8 marker.  

I didn't feel like I was really slowing down that bad or lagging, but I got to the point that I couldn't come up with anything positive in my mind.  By mile 9, there was no one around me running and I was fading fast in my head.  Thoughts like "what the hell am I doing here?", "I'm not a runner", "how the hell do you think you can run a full in October, when you can't even get through a half", "I'm going to let everyone down when I don't finish this", and so on and so on.  It sucked.  I had placed this race on a pedestal and it came tumbling down. 

When I turned the last corner to the finish line, I was so excited to see the huge chute of people cheering the runners in like in every other race.  This was not the case - a disappointing 50 ppl maybe.  I saw my mom right away and that was so exciting.  My sisters and my niece were spotted just after that and had home-made signs in their hands!  That part was awesome!!

Even with this, I was still mad that the finish line was so bare and then I snapped at my niece cause I was pissed with my time.  I did apologize later, but still.  

I think this is my huge problem:

I've always been envious of runners who have a huge support crew cheering them on at many places of the race and meeting them afterward.  I've never had that before and was so excited to have it this time.  Overall, I was disappointed at the people I invited that didn't show and then was annoyed with the ones that did come support me.  I think my problem is that they all knew nothing about running and it annoyed me.  I don't know how to explain it.  

Perhaps I'm so salty about the whole day since running has always been 'my' thing.  me.  by myself.  I go to races solo, run solo, walk back to my car solo and drive home solo.  I blog about it, but that's it.  I don't talk to any human being about them cause I don't have anyone in my life that gets it.  So, that's my race routine.  

I thought it would be great to have family there, but in reality, I don't think I'll do it again. This is where I feel really bad.  Does this make me a bad person?  They just don't get it.  My sister thinks I'm a runner-snob now and I truly hope that's not the case - but it's how I currently feel.  

This whole weekend still leaved me with a bad taste in my mouth and I still can't pin point why.  I mean, I ran 13.2 miles (the course was long), have no pain and got some sun in the process, I should be happy about this accomplishment and I'm really not at all.  

I'm kinda hoping I snap out of this soon.  It already feels good just to get it out.